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Voice: Previously on
Forgive Me.

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Sebastian: Shh shh shh shh,
just relax ok?

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Priest: OK.

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Priest: You know I always
wanted to be the Prelate,

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but whether I want to be
Prelate who tries to sell off

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the pews while the church
gets reduced to rubble is a probably a different question.

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Priest: Gene, Gene. What's
going on. Are they taking his things?

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Gene: No, they're bringing
things in.

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Priest: What things?

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Gene: The Bishop's things.

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Priest: The Bishop's
coming back?

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Gene: Yes, he'll be visiting
for a while.

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Priest: Your excellency, may
I ask why you're here?

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Bishop: Keep your friends
close as the saying goes.

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Priest: Thank you all for
coming to my quinceanera.

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I couldn't have done this
without each and every one of you believing in me.

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I wish I could stay here
forever.

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Soldier 1: [in latin]
Renounce Jesus.

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Renounce the Christ!
Renounce him!

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Soldier 2: Why do we even
care what he believes?

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Soldier 3: He's the
commander's favourite. He won't let the Commander

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touch him because of his
religion.

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Soldier 1: You're causing
shit for all of us. Why

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don't you just give him what
he wants?

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Gene: What exactly do you
hope to achieve by being here?

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You can't spy on us
from the third floor.

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Bishop: Am I not welcome here?

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Gene: Oh yes you're welcome
here your excellency.

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Just as your staff and a
nurse would be welcome here. To look after you.

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Bishop: I don't need a nurse.

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Gene: Of course you don't
your excellency.

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Lyndon: I don't know if you
misunderstood your prognosis,

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but you need to be checked.

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On a schedule.

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Not just when you feel
sick.

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Priest: I understand what
you want.

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Lyndon: Are you having your
hallucinations?

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Priest: Visitations. Uh,
yeah. Sometimes.

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Lyndon: And radiation, surgery.
That makes that worse?

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Priest: They'll be angry
that you're here.

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Gene: How did that go?

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Priest: He's just
worried about me.

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Gene: Should he be?

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Priest: I've got other
things on my mind other than my brain.

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Gene: Those other things
won't matter very much if you're dead.

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Priest: I've reached an
equilibrium. Pressure on my brain I can deal with but

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his treatment is worse than the
disease.

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Gene: You don't trust your
doctor?

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Priest: I trust God. A bit
early for lunch, isn't it?

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Gene: His excellency is
peckish.

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Priest: Does he ever leave
his room?

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Gene: I don't think he can
manage the stairs by himself.

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Priest: Well, I can help him
down in the morning.

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Gene: I think he prefers to
be waited on.

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Priest: Your excellency?

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Bishop: Hm, uh, set it
there.

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Priest: There you go.

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Bishop: Sit with me.

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Bishop: No chef around here,
is there?

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Priest: No. No, uh, Father
John used to do all the cooking.

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He enjoyed it so the rest of us
never got much practice.

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Bishop: He was very nurturing.

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Particularly of you.

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Priest: Yes.

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Did you want to
say a few words at his funeral?

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Bishop: That hardly seems
appropriate.

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Where is it happening?

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Priest: The church.

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Bishop: No, that can't be.

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Priest: I'm sorry, what
can't be?

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Bishop: We're talking about a
suicide, we can't give him a Catholic funeral.

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Priest: Well with all due
respect your excellency,

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we've been making exceptions
to that rule since the eighties.

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Bishop: Lay people who
suffered mental illness.

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Or who were terminally ill. Was
any of that true in this case?

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Priest: No.

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Bishop: Have you even heard
from any of his family?

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Priest: No.

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Bishop: No. Now, if you were
to kill yourself

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with that brain tumour of yours
that would be an extenuating circumstance.

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Priest: Thank you, I'll bear
that in mind.

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Bishop: We don't need to
make a martyr out of a suicide priest.

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Priest: This was his church
that he took care of for decades.

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Bishop: Not very well.
Unfortunately.

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Priest: You don't have to be
there.

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Bishop: This isn't your
decision to make.

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Priest: Are you telling me
that you won't allow the Prelate

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of this church have
his own funeral service in it?

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Bishop: Due to the
circumstances of his death, no.

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Priest: You're cruel.

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Bishop: He was a coward on top
of everything else he was.

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Priest: What is that
supposed to mean?

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Bishop: You know what he was.

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Priest: Are you talking
about his sexuality?

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Because I know he was celibate.
Like you and me.

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Bishop: Then he shouldn't
have cared so much if people found out.

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Priest: How would they have
found out?

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Bishop: You can go now.

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Priest: Were you going to
tell them?

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Is that it? Were you going to
what- force the Prelate of this church out

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of the closet to create some
kind of distraction from

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the time when you covered up a
case of child abuse?

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Bishop: Are you repeating
something I told you in confession?

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I could have your collar for
that.

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Your imagination is running away
with you.

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Priest: I apologize your
excellency. Let me leave you to your lunch.

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Bishop: Be careful whose
advice you take.

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You just never know who has your
back.

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Nan: I don't know if you've
seen my mother, but she got a wicked haircut,

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and I don't mean wicked in a
good way.

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And I lied when I said
I loved it.

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I cursed the neighbour's kid,
took the

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Lord's name in vain a

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dozen times, or twenty
times. I don't know.

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I prostituted myself on Tuesday.

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Priest: What?

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Nan: Yeah, same as the
Tuesday before. Tuesdays have become a thing.

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Priest: You prostituted
yourself?

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How long has this been going on?

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Nan: Hard to pinpoint
exactly. A while now. Years really.

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Priest: How does that work?

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Nan: You don't know how
prostitution works?

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I don't think I should be the
one to tell you.

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Priest: You said Tuesdays.
Is Arnie away on Tuesdays or something?

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I mean, does he
know about this?

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Nan: Oh, he's home, he's the
one I'm prostituting myself to.

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Priest: You had me going
there for a sec.

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Nan: Well, I didn't mean it
as a prank.

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Priest: What do you mean,
you're prostituting yourself to your husband?

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Nan: That's what it feels
like. That's what it is.

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Priest: Are you saying you
no longer enjoy performing your conjugal duties?

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Nan: You sound eerily like
my mother.

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Priest: Well, I hear her
confessions too.

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Nan: Oh god, what a thought.

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Priest: Sorry, and that's
twenty-one times the Lord's name in vain

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so let's add that to the list.

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Nan: Why isn't it a sin to
have sex with my husband?

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I mean, I'm too old to have
another child. I think. But

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I mean honestly wouldn't it be
better for him to take up with some

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young thing if the whole point
is to go forth and multiply?

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Priest: That's not exactly how
the sacrament of marriage works.

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Nan: Does it work? I mean
honestly. Life. For life.

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Priest: I think every
married couple faces doubts along the way.

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Nan: I have no doubts. I'm
over it and I'm staying for the money.

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And what does
that make me?

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Priest: It doesn't make you a
prostitute or whatever they call it now, a sex worker.

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Nan: What's the difference
between me and someone who advertises on the back

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pages? Hm? Some of them have
regular customers too.

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Priest: You love Arnie.

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Nan: I just told you I don't.

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Priest: So you're saying
that after all the years together,

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how many years
together? Nan: Twenty-seven.

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Priest: So after
twenty-seven years of

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marriage you feel nothing
for your husband?

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Nan: Oh, I didn't say I feel
nothing. I just don't love him.

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I feel disgust, resentment,
loathing. Pity, occasionally.

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I mean, these
are all low level base

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feelings. He doesn't really
evoke powerful emotions in

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me anymore. Ah.
Exasperation maybe.

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Priest: Have you told him
how you feel?

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Nan: That would be
unnecessarily cruel wouldn't it?

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Priest: That would solve
your Tuesday problem.

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Nan: No. He wouldn't stay
with me if we didn't have sex. That I know.

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Priest: Ok. Um, a marriage
is about more than just sex.

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Nan: Ah.

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Priest: Well, maybe if you
you were to focus on the other aspects of the

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marriage they'd come into the
fore. You have a life with Arnie right?

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Nan: No.

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Priest: Well, what? You have
two kids, you have a house.

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Nan: One kid, two houses. He
goes to the lakehouse

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occasionally just to get
away from me, I'm sure. To

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get away from the hostility
he must sense behind my every statement, gesture.

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Priest: Did he do something
to make you feel this way?

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Nan: No, I would say it's all
of the things he didn't do.

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Didn't make me the
centre of his life.

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Can you imagine? I got married
for love, and then found out I was a trophy wife.

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He didn't like me as much as he
liked his job.

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I thought I'd find a
way in over the years, but no, the opposite. His career

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and the time he dedicated it

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00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:11,378
only grew. The time he spent
with me got to be weekend dinners and sex.

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Now, just sex. We literally make
appointments to have sex.

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Tuesday is sex. The
house account gets a deposit on Wednesday. See how that works?

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Priest: It leaves you
feeling like a prostitute.

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Nan: I'd lie there
underneath him as he humps away and

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think of the money
and what I'm going to buy

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00:14:32,757 --> 00:14:35,964
with it. Yes, I feel like a
prostitute.

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Priest: That's very vivid.

188
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Nan: Well, you seem to be
having trouble believing me.

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Priest: I think you two need
some counseling.

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00:14:44,964 --> 00:14:46,516
Nan: We've been to
counselling.

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00:14:46,516 --> 00:14:49,999
We spent a fortune on
counselling. I'd rather keep the money at this point.

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00:14:49,999 --> 00:14:52,344
Priest: I'm talking about
spiritual counselling.

193
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:59,895
Nan: From you? Yeah, I'll
take that under advisement.

194
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You're very sweet and easy
to talk to, I'll give you that.

195
00:15:07,964 --> 00:15:10,619
Priest: Why don't you tell
me what you're really here to confess?

196
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,791
Nan: I'm not pulling any
punches here, Father.

197
00:15:13,791 --> 00:15:16,516
Priest: What did you do? To
make yourself hate your husband so much?

198
00:15:17,102 --> 00:15:18,619
Nan: I don't hate him, I
didn't say that.

199
00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:20,999
Priest: Well, it's not
something that he did.

200
00:15:20,999 --> 00:15:24,895
So what did you do to make
yourself feel this anger,

201
00:15:24,895 --> 00:15:27,068
this resentment towards him.
It didn't just happen.

202
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:30,068
Nan: Maybe I felt locked in a
marriage I want no part of.

203
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Because that's what we
good Catholics do.

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Priest: You a good Catholic
prostitute?

205
00:15:36,516 --> 00:15:38,999
Nan: Oh, let those who live
in stained glass houses cast the first stone.

206
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I have my reasons for being

207
00:15:41,551 --> 00:15:44,068
disappointed in my marriage-
they're beside the point.

208
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Priest: Like what? Tell me.

209
00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:48,653
Nan: He ignores me. He's been
ignoring me for 10 years.

210
00:15:48,929 --> 00:15:52,895
And 10 before that. I
raised our daughter by

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00:15:52,895 --> 00:15:58,757
myself. So much so that when
I got pregnant 10 years ago, I didn't keep it.

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00:15:59,722 --> 00:16:01,482
Priest: You terminated a
pregnancy.

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00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:07,171
Nan: I was so lonely raising
Clara. It's hard spending 24 hours a day taking care of a

214
00:16:07,171 --> 00:16:08,826
baby that can't respond to you.

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00:16:09,688 --> 00:16:13,619
It's basically sociopathically
concerned with its own wants, and it

216
00:16:13,619 --> 00:16:15,447
will scream to get what it

217
00:16:15,447 --> 00:16:19,068
wants from me through trial
and error.

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Then I'm left to not participate
with the grown-ups. That I have to

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stay with the baby is his
excuse to leave me out of his plans.

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00:16:29,929 --> 00:16:30,791
Priest: That sounds awful.

221
00:16:31,482 --> 00:16:35,102
Nan: It was awful. I love my
daughter, but it was awful. For four years.

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I couldn't
do it again. I mean, Clara

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00:16:41,619 --> 00:16:44,757
was grown. I have to be on
my own with a baby again.

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Priest: I get it. I
understand, Nan. I understand why you did it

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but I mean,
it's still a grave sin.

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Nan: I know. Believe me. I
confessed it. When you were in middle school probably.

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I don't need your forgiveness
for it.

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Priest: What about Arnies?

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Nan: It'd kill him. That
would end the marriage.

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Priest: You don't think
there's a chance that you're- well, your negative

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00:17:10,206 --> 00:17:11,860
feelings towards him,

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particularly the negative
feelings towards sex might

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be wrapped up in this whole
thing? How Arnie wasn't

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there for you, how his
behaviour led you to commit a grievous sin?

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Who else knows?

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Nan: The doctor, the clinic
receptionist, the other priest. And God.

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Priest: Nan, that's a lot to
carry on your own.

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Nan: It was 10 years ago, I
don't think about it.

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Priest: Never?

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Nan: Of course not never.

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00:17:45,171 --> 00:17:47,895
Maybe you're right. Maybe I

242
00:17:47,895 --> 00:17:51,413
do resent him for being
blissfully ignorant of it.

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00:17:52,206 --> 00:17:55,137
Of not having to mourn that
child.

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Priest: You know, you could
tell him.

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Nan: He hasn't done anything
so horrible as to deserve that.

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00:18:07,929 --> 00:18:15,102
I know what it feels
like. That hole inside.

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I know what it would do to his
heart, to his spirit. Why

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would I put him through that?

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Priest: So you do love him?

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Priest: Bill!

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Hey.

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Bill: Uh, Gene called me, and
I was expecting a funeral.

253
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Gene: Weren't we all?

254
00:19:18,206 --> 00:19:19,240
Priest: You sure about this?

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00:19:20,412 --> 00:19:24,481
Gene: Well, I know he didn't
have any family because we talked about that at length.

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Neither do I. I don't have

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any family left.

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When I go, would you bring me
here to join him?

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Priest: Gene, when you go, we'll
give you a big old church funeral.

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Gene: I wouldn't want one.
Not after this.

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Priest: Alright, well I'll
make you all a deal. Whoever goes first,

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00:19:45,068 --> 00:19:46,033
the others can bring him here.

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Gene: Fair enough. You know,
he loved you very much.

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00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:55,860
I never saw him love
anyone so unreservedly.

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He had an astonishing amount of
faith in you.

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Priest: I know.

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Priest: John, you uh. You
showed me more kindness than anyone I've met.

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More so than my family.
You were family.

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Father, in the truest sense. A
mentor and a guide.

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You tried to steer me
out of every stupid decision

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00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:35,206
I ever made and I should have
listened to you more often.

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I know that you were
a spiritual Father to a lot

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00:20:39,688 --> 00:20:46,999
of people and a guiding light
on how to be a man. I love you.

274
00:20:58,860 --> 00:21:03,137
Bill: John made every task
twice as fun. He'd notice you.

275
00:21:03,757 --> 00:21:06,102
He'd remember your
favourite dessert, he'd make

276
00:21:06,102 --> 00:21:09,895
it for you when you were
down. There wasn't anything that he wouldn't

277
00:21:09,895 --> 00:21:11,791
do if he
thought that'd it'd make

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00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:20,102
somebody happy. He was a good
friend. Go! Make heaven happy!

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00:21:22,964 --> 00:21:28,791
Gene: Father John blessed us
with love, wisdom and exuberance.

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00:21:28,964 --> 00:21:31,964
You know, I
loved arguing with him. He

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00:21:31,964 --> 00:21:38,274
was ruled by his good heart
and his exasperation over my logical arguments was one of

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00:21:38,274 --> 00:21:43,791
my greatest joys. It's hard

283
00:21:43,791 --> 00:21:53,137
to imagine going to work
without my friend. You know, he would tell me jokes and

284
00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:54,722
sing me songs that I hadn't

285
00:21:54,722 --> 00:21:56,757
heard in 50 years.

286
00:21:58,308 --> 00:22:01,964
I don't suppose there's anyone
left alive who knows me as well

287
00:22:01,964 --> 00:22:06,308
as he did. He sacrificed

288
00:22:06,308 --> 00:22:13,826
most worldlu treasures and
experiences in order to live a spiritual life.

289
00:22:13,826 --> 00:22:18,102
With monumental faith.

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00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:21,446
Which must have fled him at the
very end.

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00:22:24,999 --> 00:22:27,205
Priest: No, I don't think
that he lost his faith, Gene.

292
00:22:27,205 --> 00:22:29,481
Maybe in the church,
but never in God.

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Gene: His final act was a
terrible sin.

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Priest: May God forgive him.

295
00:22:36,274 --> 00:22:40,343
Bill: May God forgive us all.

296
00:23:23,584 --> 00:23:25,412
Voice: Next time on Forgive
Me.

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00:23:25,412 --> 00:23:27,757
Priest: They're going to
crucify my daughter to save their asses.

298
00:23:27,757 --> 00:23:31,515
If you stand up
and fight, you can punish

299
00:23:31,515 --> 00:23:34,170
the people who allowed those
kids to be hurt. You can expose them.

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00:23:34,170 --> 00:23:36,274
Smith: I don't have the
money to fight them.

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00:23:36,274 --> 00:23:37,791
Priest: You're still going
to win the money.

302
00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:41,377
Gene: You talked to him
again without a lawyer and without the mediator.

303
00:23:42,101 --> 00:23:44,136
Priest: I was appealing to
his sense of faith.

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Gene: His faith was never in
question.

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